Some (funny) facts about Germany

This is a repost from another blog!

A while ago one of my friends gave a party and I cannot remember when I ever had so much fun!

One reason was that some Americans and some people from Britain and Spain were there and one of them gave a really funny birthday speech about “Germans – through the eyes of foreigners” and I have to say that this made us all roll on the floor.

I never heard before that we are seen in this way and if this is right, I don’t have to wonder why there are so many misunderstandings

So I tried to find some “facts” about Germany.

Well, I start with some general differences… but maybe I should mention first, that whenever you should come to Germany – please, never think that we are uninterested, cold or selfish people if no one looks your way, or doesn’t talk to you…

I learned on that birthday party, that we are just very, very, very shy people who just cannot bring ourselves to talk to strangers… so whatever happens, don’t despair – once we know you better, we can be nice and remember the following “facts”…

In German restaurants, asking for free water with your food is frowned upon and uncommon. There are very few water fountains in public buildings… here you have to pay for your water

When you have eaten in a restaurant, taking the leftovers with you is typically frowned upon, they are thrown away…

US restaurants usually stop serving food at 10pm, some already at 9pm (except junk food joints). In Germany you can eat till midnight.

In the US, when you enter a restaurant, you have to wait for a waiter to seat you, generally you cannot freely choose your table. Here, you just sit down wherever you want.

Bottles with crown caps in the US can always be opened without a bottle opener, by simply turning the cap. In Germany, you need a bottle opener.

Here, there are almost no motels, and there are very few cheap ways to spend a night, especially close to the highways.

German dog owners almost never collect their dog’s feces. (That’s not true – I always do it) but however – take care

Btw. I heard, that Americans have a strange obsession with the points of the compass. Frequently inside a building you find signs like “This elevator is out of order. Please use the one on the North side of the building.

Seriously, how am I supposed to know where North is?

But by contrast, German highway signs are unusable for foreigners (and many Germans – including me) since they eschew points of the compass completely. In order to navigate on German Autobahnen, you need to know the relative locations of all cities in Germany. The signs won’t say “B1 East” and “B1 West”, but instead “B1 Richtung Bochum” and “B1 Richtung Unna” and you are supposed to know that Unna is East of Bochum (just an example). But we also have maps, yep… we really have!

Worse, highway intersections in Germany use an utterly braindead and dangerous layout where the cars that are slowing down and leaving a highway have to share a stretch of road with those speeding up and joining the highway.

It is said that everything is bigger in the US than it is in Germany: people, meal portions, coffee cups, cars, houses, cell phones, beds, refrigerators, squirrels… hmm everything?   

To call a cell phone in Germany, you pay a high per-minute fee and the callee pays nothing (unless they’re abroad) …

Credit cards suck the full balance out of your bank account at the end of every month. German bank accounts come with a standard credit line… you can simply overdraw them – this seems to be comparatively rare in the US.

Germans think that natural yellow egg yolk looks “unhealthy” and pale and prefer their egg yolk orange, which is why German farmers feed their chickens organge pigments.

What is called “erste Etage” (first floor) in Germany is called “second floor” in the US. So… don’t confuse that

Graffiti shall be more colorful in Germany, where it is sometimes viewed as approaching an art form…

Soccer is seen as a men’s sport in Germany and as a women’s sport in the US.

In Germany, people wouldn’t consider themselves patriots. Actually, if you would say “I’m proud to be German”, you’d be considered a neo-Nazi. In Germany, the only time to hold up a German flag in public, without looking like a Nazi, is during football games or sport events.

Germans love to organize public life, and make up rules, whether these rules are needed often, rarely, or never…

But here are some regulations which limit personal everyday freedoms:

- freight trucks cannot be driven on weekends
- men have to do at least one year of mandatory military or social service
- your current address has to be registered with the authorities at all times, even if you are a German living outside of Germany
- you must take classes and obtain a license in order to be allowed to fish or hunt
- you cannot create noise by cutting grass on Sundays
- you cannot wear a mask when participating in a demonstration (the ”Vermummungsverbot” police want to be able to identify you on their video tapes)

Older people dress a lot more conservatively in Germany than in the US. It’s not uncommon to see a seventy-year-old American in shorts, sneakers, t-shirt and base ball cap – yep, this is unthinkable in Germany.

While it is legal in the US to display hard core pornography on Internet web sites open to all (not sure if this is right) this is not allowed in Germany. Similarly, sex magazines that can be bought at regular newsstands are harder in the US than in Germany – in the US, satellite hard core porn channels can be ordered and this is not possible in Germany.

Prostitution, anal sex, and zoophily are not illegal in Germany but are illegal in many US states (not sure if this is right, I just heard it)

In Germany, all murderers can be and often are paroled after 15 years in prison (except for terrorists and the psychologically abnormal). Children under 14 cannot be punished at all, and juveniles under 18 cannot be sentenced as adults. People under 21 can be treated as juveniles if the court finds them to be immature.

Americans are generally much more hard working than Germans. For example, many Americans told me that it is not unusual to meet people who work two 40-hours-a-week jobs, or who work full time while also taking a full time course load at a college. Both are completely non-existent in Germany (there are rules against working too much, intended to protect workers, two full-time jobs are not allowed). Many Germans work only 35 hours a week, others 37.5, all take long vacations, and I estimate that over the whole year, the average German with a job works about two thirds the hours of the average working American.

Clearly, unions are much more powerful in Germany than in the US. They are huge, and they don’t bother to bargain with individual employers – they talk directly to the employer’s associations in the different fields.

You do not get your driver’s licence until you are 18 years old…

n Europe, an entree is usually the first course of a meal (the same as an American appetizer). The main course is called “the main course”. American’s like to have a salad course, but this is almost never seen in Europe as salad (if it is being served) will usually be presented alongside the main course.

While Americans and Europeans (excluding the British) drive on the same side of the road, there are still many different rules. The most obvious is the American rule allowing cars to turn on a red light. This is not allowed here – exception: police, fire and rescue service.
But in general most of the street signs use the same international symbols.

Power sockets in the United Kingdom differ from the rest of Europe, and both are different from American (and Japanese) sockets. European plugs generally have two circular pins for inserting in to the socket (though there are variations in almost all of the nations in Europe)

while British and Irish plugs have three thick rectangular pins. Also, European lights switch off in the opposite direction to American lights….

In Germany we have garbage separation. More than 80 % of paper and glass is recycled.

e have about 1280 breweries offering more than 5000 different beer brands today – from dark brown to pale gold, from bitter to smooth. 53 per cent of all German breweries are located in Bavaria, by the way. The average beer consumption per person is 115 ltrs of beer per year.

When the perfume brand “Irish Mist” was introduced to the German market, it had to be renamed because in German language “Mist” means nothing else but “Bullshit”. Because nobody wanted to buy bullshit to spread it over his face, now it is called “Irisch Moos” = moss 

Germany is the only European country that has no overall speed limit on the highways, the so-called Autobahn. Currently, there is a political debate about whether or not to introduce one, but the call for a speed limit will probably be again rejected by the political majorities. You should think about choosing a sports car when you come here and need a rental!

There is no Target, GAP, Old Navy or Urban Outfitters in Germany and Starbucks just started 3 years ago. However, we have ALDI, Tchibo and H&M. And Wal Mart

The German language at this moment is undergoing a drastic change towards Americanization – that is, more and more English makes its way into the German language. This includes vocabulary, spacing, rules for using comma, and apostrophes.

One could argue West Germany in the last 50 or so years was brought up to serve as American colony. (Certainly better than starting yet another war.) Germans adore everything coming from “across the ocean”, and are quick to adopt fashion, food, drinks, language, movie, and music styles if they originate in the USA.

At least in this respect, however, Germany’s not on a lonely stand. American movies, music, fashion and everything are also by now the de facto way of life for many other countries.

So if you come to Europe or to Germany you are not out of civilization – you still can see  McDonald’s and there may still be Coca-Cola – let’s face it, you didn’t leave the planet and we are also not so bad

Cheers!

Have a great weekend!

And “Happy Birthday” America!